Conversations starters for couples how to#

How would your closest friends describe you?.These prompts are a great way to suss out personal growth. 'You can hear in somebody’s narrative about how they talk about their family or previous partners whether or not they can own any of what was their contribution to what didn’t work in that relationship and if that’s something that they’ve thought about and worked on,' she says. 255 Questions To Ask To Get To Know Someoneįleming recommends having someone talk about their former relationships and their family, paying close attention to their role and accountability.“Vulnerability creates more empathy for your partner and that then creates the intimacy and the sense of connection,” says Wachtel.

To leave behind the surface levels of relationships, two people must show each other vulnerability. To break out of this cycle and further bond, you have to ask different questions. As Wachtel describes it, people often talk in circles, having the same conversations over and over again. The process of connecting is all about someone's willingness to be truly seen, which comes from sharing our most embarrassing, challenging, and often most difficult moments.Įven getting closer to someone you already feel attached to, like your best friend or long-term partner, can get tricky.

Conversations starters for couples how to#

Sharing from the place of vulnerability is how to truly get to know someone, she adds. Megan Fleming, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. “The role of the deep conversation is to get beyond the superficial,” says Dr. When it comes to forming a connection, it pays off to stray away from the traditional ice breakers and ask the unexpected. Even a moment of humiliation, like spilling red wine on the person next to you, can help two people strike a kinship. People bond in different ways over different things-perhaps a connection is formed over similar music taste or an obvious commonality, such as a shared workplace or hometown. When it comes to getting someone to open up, picking up on their specific interests and needs is crucial. This is partly because everyone has their own unique needs, says Rachel Moheban Wachtel, LCSW, a licensed therapist who specializes in couples and marriage counseling. Whether you’ve known them for years or a few hours, cracking someone’s shell isn't necessarily easy.